From the sublime to the ridiculous

August 3, 2009 by
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The sublime

I really enjoyed the comments on my last post. I have just about memorised all 15 verses of the Auden, so on the recommendation of Jenny it’s on to Yeats’  The second coming’. It’s not too long but there’s no rhyming to assist my stiff  old brain.

I came across a gorgeous piece by Stevie Smith which made me think how some poems are like the best blog posts. A important point is made with few words, a personal anecdote and a sprinkling of humour, preferably self deprecating. None of us on line scribblers can hope to match the wonderful pathos of ‘Pad Pad’,  but all the ingredients are there for the kind of post I hope will regularly win Bloggers’ Circle post of the month:

‘I always remember your beautiful flowers

And the beautiful kimono you wore

When you sat on the couch

With that tigerish crouch

And told me you loved me no more.

 

What I cannot remember is how I felt when you were unkind

All I know is, if you were unkind now I should not mind.

Ah me, the power to feel exaggerated, angry and sad

The years have taken from me. Softly I go now, pad, pad ’

The ridiculous

The woman who manges our villa suggested we take the teenagers to a place called ’Star Beach’  near Hersonissos. It was without doubt one of the most hideous places I have ever visited (and we were there for less than five minutes).

More crowded and sweaty than the Northern Line during rush hour, blaring pounding techno Muzak, Bacardi Breezers being knocked back by spotty faced wide boys from Basildon and Barnsley, no one (apart from our bewildered group of middle aged parents) over 25,  a tiny, sad and muddy beach largely ignored in favour of the sun loungers next to the innumerable bars: A place that should be consigned to the innermost circle of Dante’s inferno.

Our friends staying in Malia (which makes Hersonissos seem like St Moritz) say there isn’t a family beach in the vicinity; not, in fact, until you go miles East  along the coast, close to where we are based.  

Look, I know I’m a grumpy old man. I don’t really begrudge the younger generation their fun. I only gave up on excess when it started to disagree with me. But it’s the intensity and commercial monotony of the place; the rows of bars selling ’English breakfasts’ and offering happy hour triple measure treats. My favourite sign was outside a  ‘pub’ no bigger than my Stockwell local that advertised ’Indian, Chinese and Italian food our speciality’. And to add to the noise and general aggro, every teen whether from England, Germany, Russia, Holland or anywhere else, seems to have their own quad bike on which to zoom from bar to bar and eye each other up suspiciously.

I thought about writing my own poem about Malia. I’ve got two lines..

‘Men who look like dogs bred for fighting   

Wander in packs designed for inciting’

But then I collapse into snobbery and cliche.

Feel free to add to it, those of you who have also experienced teen resort hell. Me, I think I’ll stick to learning from the masters

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Comments

12 Comments on From the sublime to the ridiculous

  1. rhian on Mon, 3rd Aug 2009 2:20 pm

    2. well thank you… maybe ur right.. happy to take the trouble especially if it makes me look better!

    Talking of Yeats,
    how about Tread Softly, the one that ends:

    But I, being poor, have only my dreams
    I have spread my dreams under your feet,
    Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

    Its beautiful & conjures up starry desert skies and its short!
    butyou know that its only if you can still recite the poetry after a few pints that you’ve really got it by heart? You can also recite stuff during take off and landing if ur scared like me..
    I saw the Rsa site +blog after I attended lecture at the rsa recently with my friend at lunchtime. Beautiful building by the way .. nice place to work..
    I am writing about historic london and I might use J A Street or the one that runs across at the top
    that holiday resort your describing sounds like my local town in wiltshire…at least you’ve got some sun there, stop complaining!

  2. Joe Nutt on Mon, 3rd Aug 2009 9:04 pm

    3. I was so tempted to say “stick to prose” Matthew, but much more fun to rise to the challenge. So here’s the rest of the verse.

    A fight or two, if happy hour’s elastic
    Enough to fuel their ire and the plastic
    Doesn’t run out, like the girls who
    Definitely aren’t worth it too.

  3. matthewtaylor on Tue, 4th Aug 2009 6:54 am

    4. Thanks Joe. I see a great double act looming. Imagine the posters…

    One is traditional the other progressive
    Put them together for a performance impressive

  4. matthewtaylor on Tue, 4th Aug 2009 7:29 am

    5. Thanks Rhian. And I will stop complaining. I am just about to do an interview with Radio Devon about some allegedly disparaging comments I made on Moral Maze about a wet holiday last year near Okehampton. So I checked the weather forecast this morning and guess what – it’s raining in Devon!

  5. Henry on Tue, 4th Aug 2009 7:33 am

    6. ‘Men who look like dogs bred for fighting
    Wander in packs designed for inciting’

    …I wonder why they bother going to the Med
    When they could just visit Newcastle instead’

  6. TimHood on Tue, 4th Aug 2009 8:17 am

    7. Matthew,
    The only place to really get away from the crowds on the north east coast is a tiny hamlet with a beach of large (uncomfortable) pebbles called Plaka. It is opposite the old Leper Colony of Spinalonga, a few kms past Elounda. Go to agios nikolaus, then to elonda. You could then drive up over the peninsula there: a beautiful, quite desolate spot, a million miles from Hersonnisos and Malia.

  7. matthewtaylor on Tue, 4th Aug 2009 9:17 am

    8. Nice Henry. But as the Albion are playing Newcastle on Saturday I will avoid any further sources of conflict with Geordies (like you)

  8. matthewtaylor on Tue, 4th Aug 2009 9:19 am

    9. Thanks Tim. We are gong on a boat trip to Spinalonga tomorrow. We are staying near Sisi which – although catering extensively for tourists – is much much better than Malia. Swimming from the harbour is especially to be recommended

  9. Martin Robinson on Wed, 5th Aug 2009 7:29 am

    10. Well, I’ve had a go:

    We see men fighting like dogs and hunting in large packs
    Yet there is no man fighting as we lyrically wax
    It may be they will rise like lions from their slumber and despair
    Or that our wrath will descend upon them, no matter whether they care
    It may be that they are meant to riot and never rest
    Our scorn upon them, a sound bite, our society, broken? As beer is best?
    But we are the people of England; and we have spoken a lot, yet
    They snarl at us; shove as they pass. Because they do not quite forget.

    Thank you Matthew for the inspiration to write poetry again, something I’ve not done for years (Which is clear from this tosh!). I then went on to write the rest, which can be seen on my blog, with a huge apology to GK Chesterton.

  10. matthewtaylor on Wed, 5th Aug 2009 4:09 pm

    11. Wow – good work Martin. I’m glad to have inspired you.

  11. rhian on Wed, 5th Aug 2009 11:08 pm

    12. haha – hope you told them that! typical local radio… could tell them you prefer Cornwall anyway, they’ll love that… No please carry on complaining – was only joking: its amusing to read: i can relate to it totally! Very considerate of you to reply… I wouldn’t normally leave many comments but its been raining here for days also and I can’t get down to work. Mandy for PM? sounds like a risk for Labour, though the way things are going, I guess its not really going to matter who it is for the next 5 years…now that is a scary thought.. hope u having nice holiday..

  12. matthewtaylor on Sat, 8th Aug 2009 9:07 am

    13. So nice I have gone three days without a post – tut tut. Just about to start making up for it. Sorry about your rain – as a cricket fan I do hope there will be a four day downpour in Leeds.

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