19 Comments on Help me make a fool of myself

william perrin on Fri, 3rd Jul 2009 5:02 pm


like you need any help

is there really a role for an intellectual tim vine ?

http://www.thehumorarchives.com/joke/Fantastic_Tim_Vine_one-liners

Joe Nutt on Fri, 3rd Jul 2009 5:20 pm


I’m personally quite fond of “Far be it from me,” which of course begs the questions what on earth is “it” and why would you wish to put some considerable distance between your form and its? I also suspect you’ll find some rich pickings listening to the mobile phone idioms we all have to endure as unwitting bystanders.

There seems to be a common terror of miscomprehension linking some of them, as though the speaker is constantly having to check they have been understood. “Hear what I’m sayin?” “D’ye get me?” “Know what I mean?’ and “In it?” all fall into this category. Rendered in RP they could all be replaced with a simple, “Could I just pause for a moment to check that you have fully grasped my last point before we continue?”

rhian on Fri, 3rd Jul 2009 7:05 pm


well, i saw you on the newsnight dragon’s den and you did look terribly serious so maybe some stand up would do you good…
what about:
‘i need to put my thinking cap on’ which does conjure up some rather hideous imagery of a pulsating brain sticking out of a yorkshire flat cap?
i’ll do your greenhouse one in a minute when i’ve recylced < actually is that one, or not really…? (person cycling backwards etc)

Anthony Zacharzewski on Fri, 3rd Jul 2009 7:16 pm


Americans saying “I could care less” when they mean “I couldn’t care less”. Does it not even sound wrong to them?

Lewesbusker on Fri, 3rd Jul 2009 7:43 pm


“I hate to interrupt.”

Well don’t then…

Katy T on Sun, 5th Jul 2009 10:16 am


I have being pondering the meaning of “living it up” lately probably as a onsequence of being admonished by Politicians for having done this kind of living for the last decade and a half. Not sure what other way I should have being living ‘it’ though.

Another phrase which touches me as rather peculiar is to “forget oneself”, as in “You will remember me but forget yourself”.
Hope these help.

matthewtaylor on Mon, 6th Jul 2009 7:35 am


Thanks Katy. I really like ‘I forgot myself’. Just the kind of thing I was looking for.

matthewtaylor on Mon, 6th Jul 2009 7:46 am


Thanks Rhian. You’re right it is odd. A bit like ‘I’ll make you laugh on the other side of your face’, which I remember Billy Connolly having a lot of fun with in his stand-up show

matthewtaylor on Mon, 6th Jul 2009 7:48 am


Thanks Anthony. So when they say it, it’s not sarcastic?

matthewtaylor on Mon, 6th Jul 2009 7:49 am


Hi Joe. Isn’t is ‘far be it for me’?

Susmita on Mon, 6th Jul 2009 9:59 am


I’m with Joe, it’s “far be it from me” but I do think it’s a great statement and one that, used correctly, makes perfect sense.

The whole exercise here reminds me of the Bob Monkhouse joke that was used in some advertising on the Tube – insurance maybe? Something like “So my wife came to me and said, “Bob, you’re just not yourself these days.” So I said “well, why are you telling me then?” “

Tom Freeman on Mon, 6th Jul 2009 3:35 pm


“If you ask me, [insert lengthy and semi-coherent tirade].”

“I see. And what if I don’t ask you?”

dave gorman on Mon, 6th Jul 2009 10:23 pm


Matthew,

Several spring to mind:-

* ‘Tell me in your own words’- as Billy Connolly said, what makes you think I’ve got my own words? And if I did, you’d not understand them
* The next speaker needs no introduction- people ALWAYS proceed to give an introduction and never just sit down immediately at that point
* ‘It goes without saying’, always followed by saying it
* A bunch of management speak that has alarming sexual undertones (or is it just me)- ‘run it up the flag pole’; ’suck it and see’; ‘get into bed together on this one’; ‘open kimono’
* In for a penny, in for a pound- well actually no, you can make decisions that are not either 1% or 100% commitment!
* ‘Going forward’ -arggg, enough said; we’re hardly likely to precess back through time…
* ‘Nothing in ruled in and nothing is ruled out’ seems to me to equal ‘we have a plan in mind but its not worked up enough yet and/or not sure it will fly so now that you’ve rather incoveniently asked me, i’ll pretend we’re not 70% towards a decision with a vague tissue of stuff about consulting, prematurity and expectation’
* Lets park that for the moment= EITHER ‘bugger, we were just getting on with making a decision when you raised your mad-cap scheme’, OR bugger, this antiquated way of making decisions means none of us has the capacity to consider your excellent idea right now, why not later when we’ve all had a break for coffee and pastries?’ OR ‘I’m sorry you’re too junior and powerless for me to consider your views, but I must appear to be listening so therefore we’ve not lost your idea- its for later’

Finis!

matthewtaylor on Tue, 7th Jul 2009 7:10 am


Wow – thanks Dave. Load of ideas there

matthewtaylor on Tue, 7th Jul 2009 7:17 am


Thanks Tom. Nice one

david butter on Tue, 7th Jul 2009 2:49 pm


“CAN I BE HONEST WITH YOU?” No I’d prefer it if you lied to me. “OK, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?” Sure, can I give you an answer? (You’ve just asked me a question.) “LOOK HERE”. Where? “I’M HERE TO TELL YOU” Are you? Who invited you? “DON’T GIVE ME A HARD TIME. I’VE BEEN WORKING LIKE A DOG”. Really?
You mean lying around all day, going for walks and sniffing bottoms? “WITH ALL DUE RESPECT”: What’s with the respect and when’s it all due? “ALRIGHT! I’ll LET YOU GO NOW” Wow thanks! I’m free! “MY PLEASURE”. My pain.

Lucy on Wed, 8th Jul 2009 3:50 pm


But some more like your one:

She is lying to herself; I forced myself to do it; She was beside herself; I didn’t know where to put myself.

matthewtaylor on Thu, 9th Jul 2009 8:49 am


Thanks Lucy. Yes all these phrases underline the peculiarity of our sense of ourselves; as if there is someone who is somehow not us who is in charge until someone else who is us intervenes. This could be seen as a way of talking about the process of metacognition – thinking about thinking. Indeed, some people say that is the single thing that is most distinctive about human beings; that we can think about thinking

I do exist, but not for long : Matthew Taylor’s blog on Mon, 2nd Nov 2009 6:23 pm


[...] have said in an earlier blog post that I am fascinated by the phrase ‘I said to myself’. If I get Strawson’s thesis right, the [...]

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